REMADE: Naruto Fiction Wars!
by dreamer789
Summary: When Konoha loses it wealth, riches, land, there's only one ray of hope to save them... Improve art and culture for tourists and off with economical issues!
1. How it all started

Ok, so I decided to re-write the story. The other one was troll-like except for the spelling. So well, I've been practicing and I think that this one would be better with the same randomness and pervered-ness. Things happened and don't ask. Just keep in mind that this is before Hanzo or what's his name takes over. I just started reading the mangas once again but I accidentally skipped a lot of chapters but bare with me, please. After all this is fan**fiction** not fan**cannon**.

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**Naruto Fanfiction Wars RE-MADE!  
Chapter one: How it all started**

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**It was a warm day in Konoha, it was rare to be this kind of mild warm, it was usually scorching hot. After all, it is the land of fire.

"Hokage-sama, should I?" Said the masked man. Tsunade rubbed her temples and closed her laptop.

"Go." The anbu bowed down and with a puff of smoke, he vanished and appeared in Naruto's apartment and found him eating ramen and reading a icha icha book.

"Naruto-kun!"

"Holy hell! Since when did you get in here?!" screamed Naruto as he frantically tried to hide his icha icha book somewhere but ended up throwing it out the window followed by the voice of a crying kid.

The anbu ignored the situation and dropped a bag on the floor "You have a A rank mission from Tsunade." He took out a laptop and gave it to Naruto.

"REALLY?! About time! And why are you giving me that laptop?"

"It's not any laptop but a special laptop that's more developed than those than any of the latest laptop you see in Office Plus."

"WOW!!!" the blonde's eyes sparkled as held it to his chest and danced a bit "So, what's so special about it?"

The anbu sweatdropped and snatched the laptop back. He turned it on and got in Mozilla Icefrog "It has Mozilla Icefrog, it's better than Internet Quest plus, it has a strong protection against virus."

"Wow, a A rank plus a awesome laptop?!"

"Actually Naruto-kun. You're supposed to use the laptop for the mission."

"Huh'"

"You see, it's for the country's popularity. We want to have the best authors in these world, best artists, best of everything that has to do with art and increase Konohagakure's fame. There's a site called fictionpress in which every ninja and author here will write stories."

"AND HOW IS THAT DANGEROUS?!" Naruto closed the laptop and grabbed the anbu by his shoulders and shook him "WHAT KIND OF MISSION IS THIS?!"

"Ah yes, I forgot something that Hokage-sama gave me." The anbu took out a small note in which Naruto unfolded and revealed neat calligraphy. Those kanjis were perfectly round and the lines were perfectly straight as if she used a ruler. Naruto had a thing for calligraphy, not much interest but he did like to see neat handwriting. He admired it for a moment before he read the letter.

_Dear Naruto,_

_You see, I need you to do a mission that's not much of your liking so I decided to give you something for doing it. I'm giving you a ramen coupon attached on the back of this letter. This ramen coupon enables you to have free ramen for one whole year. If you accept the mission with enthusiasm and give our village a good name. You'll get a new apartment. The best apartment in Konoha and I'll pay the tax for you for one year. Right now, all you get is ramen._

_~Tsunade._

Naruto looked at the back of the letter and there was that gift from above...a golden coupon for free ramen! Any kind of ramen! He could say that this is the best day of his life!

"YES YES YES!!!" Naruto forgot that there was the anbu guy still in his room but the anbu decided to go on with his mission of delivering special laptop. Next stop was Haruno Sakura. Meanwhile Naruto immediately signed into Ficionpress and started writing his first fic.

**Title: Uzumaki Naruto **by RamenUzumakiNaruto

**Summary:** Once upon a time there was once a young boy named Uzumaki Naruto. He lived a terrible past with something hateful sealed inside of him but thanks to his bravery he became hokage and got lots of girls.

Hello, my name is Uzumaki Naruto. I'm a great ninja. I live in Konoha as the future Hokage. I'm 16 years old with a girlfriend named Haruno Sakura, she's beautiful and I love her.

She had lots of sex with me and she's the Hokage's number 1 apprentice. I'm the best.

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I know, no need to worship me for my great existence of an author.

**Reviews(2):**

**BigBear123:** hey tehr little boi!!!1 so ur 16 right

my name is william and im 16 years old too! i hope tht we can meat sumday!!!!!!11 but pl0x tel me 4ll bout u!!!!1 give me ur yahoo or msn and u use webcam 4 me!!!1!!1

**anonymous:** WTF?! R U ST0PID?! DIS IS TEH SHORTEZT AND WORS STOREE I EVUR READ!!!11 FCK U!!!1 ANOErngosrngshrgshgormhogshroghse

DIS STORY HAZ NO POINT!!!1 AND U R BEIN A SELF INZRT SUE!!!11

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Meanwhile, the anbu man arrived to Sakura's house. They had a normal and MATURE conversation unlike silly Naruto then the anbu quickly left to his next destination.

Sakura pondered first of what the anbu said about Naruto writing a story...maybe she could read it later. First, her fic then comes reading.

**Title: Cherry Love** by CherryBlossom

**Summary:** It was another beautiful spring, It was when cherry blossoms bloomed and so did love. Young Jasmine, had beautiful pink hair and vivid green colored orbs for eyes. She's as slender as a tulip, fair as the most wonderful spring meadow. Her heart beats for only one man that had so much difference with her but nothing can stop the power of love. Love conquers all.

I sat by the cherry blossom tree with a blue trouser between my fingers. The breeze was refreshing and the sun was warm. The weather was perfect with no clouds in the sky. I breathed in the wonderful floral scent of where I was. I was in my favorite spot, the meadow. I often like to take strolls here whether it was hot summer, cool autumn, or cold winter but my favorite will always be spring. The seasons in which flower bloomed and weather was nice. Not too hot nor too cold but what was the main reason in which I love this season so much, is because this is where the place where she met her love life.

His name was "Sousuke." I said out loud. I liked to call him Vanilla because he loved vanilla ice cream. Everytime I thought of that name or heard of it, my heartbeat faster and my body temperature rose. Just the very thought of him brightened my day. Sadly, he vanished from my life. Everyday I come here in hope to see him.

I have many friends and my best friend would be a guy. I could never fall in love with another but Sousuke but that didn't meant that I would keep myself from having guy friends. I like to call him ramen boy beacuse he loved ramen. He's a really good friend who promised to bring back my beloved. He came back dying but nonetheless, I still pray for Sousuke to come back...

And he did...

It was another day, another year, same season. I thought that it was a illusion at first but I saw this beautiful figure of a man with blue clothing. It was Sousuke's favorite color. I thought that I was just going crazy but it was so real.

I ran as fast as I can in hope of reaching him. He turned around!

"Vanilla! VANILLA!!" I cried out by his affectionate nickname in which I always called him. Tears streaming down my cheeks as I ran towards him, I opened my arms and he opened his for an embrace.

It was real. This is real! IT HAS TO BE!!

And it really was. "VAN!!" I continued sobbing. He held me tightly, so did I. I cried on his shoulder as he let go of me slightly and I thought that he was letting me go but instead he planted a kiss on my lips in which I would never forget.

"I love you Jasmine..." he held me ever so tightly than before and I cried harder.

Then I heard someone say my name.

"JASMINE!!" They were my friends and some of my fanboys. I had a lot of them. All the girls in this village wanted to be me and all the boys wanted me. It was sad because my heart only belonged to my Sousuke, my ice cream boy.

I could tell that everyone was jealous including Ramen Boy but I didn't care for anything. We were finally together.

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Well, isn't it romantic?

**Reviews:**

**(anonymous) ANTI-SUE: **FUCK YOU, SUE!!

**Fluffyfluffpinkydinky:** lyke omg! dis is the best fic ever! its so romantic1

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Sakura felt proud of her work and just flamed back the anti-Sue guy.

_"Gosh, what the hell is a Sue?"_ she thought but she brushed the thought of it away and went to search Naruto's fic. Knowing Naruto. It had something related to his name so she typed in the seach engine "Naruto". It popped up one story with the title of "Uzumaki Naruto" and the penname of the author. It was practically screaming it out, it was Naruto.

She read the fic and was quick to finish. Not like it was long but for Sakura...she had a hard time swallowing all that information down...

Naruto's time was up.

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**THE REAL A/N**: I hoped that you liked this better version. I decided to make it Fictionpress instead of Fanfiction, I mean if they find Fanfiction with the title Naruto it would be totally weird since they are supposed to be in that world and they aren't supposed to know that they are cartoons and stuff...well in this fic and this is going to be a parody of flaws in . Mary-Sues, bashing, blah blah blah.

I know that the Vanilla thing was totaly OOC but I'm not exactly a fan of Sasusaku myself so I had to make it easier by changing Sasuke's name and making it seem liked another couple from my...personal fandom.


	2. Innapropriate

Ok, so I'm working on 3 stories right now but this is new so I'm focusing mainly on this one and it's sooo fun to write! And thanks to my good friend DK for the review ;)

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**REMADE: Naruto Fiction Wars.**

**Chapter 2: Innapropriate Adults

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The anbu proceeded with the other ninjas just like how he did with Naruto and Sakura but this time he did it a bit faster with a quick explanation and handed a laptop to some teachers.

"That's weird of Tsunade..." Said Kakashi.

"I know, but that's her order. Now I have to go deliver the rest to the other teachers and students."

"Alright, go on, I shouldn't delay you." The anbu disappeared and Kakashi opened his laptop. First he would like to go to Lenses and searched for some..._inspiration_ but the moment he entered Mozilla IceFrog, there was the Konoha news, it appeared that Naruto is in the verge of dying but surprisingly, he faced something so horrible that not even the Kyuubi would dare fight back.

Apparently, he was beaten by Sakura. She didn't get sent to jail but she did get sent to some kind of prison where the Hokage chose her to stay at for two whole months along with daily class of anger management. "Young kunoichi beats up a ninja because of Fictionpress" He could guess what Naruto wrote but he better just ignore that and go to his inspiration.

He put in Hentai and he spent a while watching videos of it and playing those games. Finally, he began typing his first story rated M.

**Hot Passion **by CrimsonScarecrow

**Summary:** When it's really hot, there's nothing better by turning it off with more heat. Hardcore lemon inside.

It was a hot summer afternoon, the muscular man laid in his bed with a very hard erection in his pants. His face was perfect, every woman wanted him, everything about him specially what was under. He had the hardest and hottest ass in the village and the thickest and longest cock and was known as the master of sex but people were disgusted by him at times. He was a sex addict, that was his problem.

He had spent almost a month without sex or masturbating. He saw provocative women of all kind in the streets. It didn't help that's why he stayed in his apartment but images of naked women kept appearing in his head. He grunted at the thought of them, feeling their wonderful hourglass shape and soft body and feeling their wet genital holding him.

**The rest got censored by the authoress due to the authoress's inability to write such perverted scene. A/N: Sorry guys, I'm not capable of writing...lemons...  
**

Reviews:

bananaramma: That was hot, I broke my desk while I was reading your fic. I would hump a cactus just to satisfy my randyness hehe. That was totally hardcore.

bunsbuns: Rawr, that sounded so hot. I like anal, wanna meet? I'm 14, work out a lot, and I'm tight and a long dong.

(Anonymous) bunsbuns: Sorry, I meant I have a tight hole! It was just a mistake! I was just thinking of your dick, I swear!!!

NightHunter101: I must say that your sex scene sucks. How old are you? 5? What the hell is a orgasm? Don't use made up words, fuck head. I want you to take down this fic immediately! You need to stop writing and learn more about sex, how do you put a penis inside a woman?! You only rub! Plus, you're a fucking Suethor!

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Kakashi was happy with the first reviewer, disturbed by the second one since it was obviously a gay man that thought that he was some teenager and wanted to lie to him into meeting him but maybe it will be best to ignore that "bunsbuns".

As for NightHunter101, it was obviously some idiot wannabe flamer. Kakashi had been in Fictionpress before this mission. He always read M rated stories with lemons but he never understood the word Sue...what was it?

He just closed the tab and went to another tab using the search engine looking for Naruto and Sakura. He knew them both very well and found both their fics. He read both of them which weren't too long. He was right about why Naruto got beaten up by Sakura. Oh well, not like he can do anything about unless he wanted to...

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The next was Gai. He wanted to know about his competition so he logged on his MSN.

dynamic_maitogai hotmail . com **(A/N: Sorry for the spacing but doesn't let me type in e-mails, not even fake ones or the circle "a").**

Gai looked around his room, his eyes wide and it looked like he was completely taken by paranoia. He examined for cameras, people. People knocking on his door, everything. Finally, he settled down and typed in his password.

"Let's see, my...hot...ass..." he said out loud but in a low voice _"I'm the best at keeping myself from being hacked."_

He added in a extra contact and typed in "ichaicha_sexgod hotmail .com".

Meanwhile, Kakashi was admiring his lemon and was fapping with his favorite lotion, banana cocoa and at the same time he was logged on to his Messenger, talking to strangers but really hot girls dirtying their webcam for him but right now he was just with one. The others weren't online but then he heard a new window pop up, it was Gai. How did he get his e-mail and added him without his authorization? Oh well, maybe he bought a illegal kind of MSN.

Kakashi decided to just talk to him, possibly he would be able to drive him away even for a few seconds so he could enjoy his porn. He closed the webcam window without saying anything to the stripping woman and typed in to Gai "Hello."

"What is my eternal rival doing right now?"

"Oh nothing."

"I heard that you wrote a story for fictionpress, may I have the link to that story?"

"Yeah, here it is: w w w . mylazysundays . com

"THANK YOU!!" Gai clicked on it and saw old men bathing in the shower. His eyes widened, his pupils shrank, his mouth hanged open, and he LIKED it! He looked down at his pants and there was a "What is this bulge?" He felt like touching himself innapropriately.

"Ooooh sorry, Gai! I sent you the wrong Link. Here it is: ht tp : / / w w w . fict i on pr ess . com/ s/2 5855 41 / 1/ Hot_Passion"

Gai forgot about his intention and stopped the moment he saw the real link. He clicked on it and read Kakashi's fic _"It's perfect...so perfect..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"_ he sent him a review "Kakashi! You have once again showed great skills but I don't know if my story will beat yours but I must!" he wrote as a anonymous then created his own account and began writing.

Finally he finished and published it. Doing everything as fast as he can

**Title: The Tale of Two Rivals**

**Summary:** maito gai beat kakshi etenal rval

he aws yung and strng wiled but there was a mn wit no wil but day wre etrnl rvls.

beet dat kakshi!!!!!11

Reviews(4):

**FlamingHell:** I hope that you're a troll...

**ragnarok5641:** TROLL!!

**joejonasishot:** U SCK!!!

**MaxwellRocker:** YOU SUCK MAJOR DICK!! A little bit of advice, take this down, and go kill yourself!

Gai felt proud when he finished his fic, he had chosen speed over quality and he didn't know what to type in but it was his fic until he read the reviews and sent another message to Kakashi "YOU WIN!! I will run 500 laps around Konoha naked and on my hands!"

"Right, right." Typed in Kakashi. He blocked Gai and went back to his porn.

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Yeah well, it's Saturday and all my friends went to some family vacation and I got nothing to do...

I used real URLs except for the second one of "Hot Passion". I actually got a random URL of one of my fics and pasted it here, cut the end of the URL and typed in "Hot Passion". I always read URL so I know how they work hehe. Ok whatever bye.


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